My Journey

We had it all, great careers, great friends, great home, great life. Until an X-ray for some neck pain scanned a little too far down. The MyChart result read “malignancy in the lung.” And our lives were forever changed.

As my spouse sat frozen, grappling with the "c" word, my mind raced with plans and 'what ifs'. During the first bout, I tried so hard to be superwoman. Full time work with full time caregiving. At first, I just politely declined invitations. Slowly, we stopped getting invited - out of respect for our situation and because everyone struggled with what to do or say.

Next, I started cancelling my appointments - hairdresser, nails, dentist, auto mechanic. And when cutting all external activities didn't give me enough time, I piled on sick days. To be honest, I wasn't bringing my best to my work (how could I?) or anywhere else really. Burnout was inevitable and so very avoidable. I have learned to ask for help, to say no, to build a support team. To, as the airlines say, put on my oxygen mask first.

Ten years later, we’re still navigating the health system(s), the insurance system(s), and the support systems. The emotions run deep: fear, frustration, anger, isolation, and eventually, acceptance, desire, gratitude, and love.
During that time, I also walked with my mother through breast cancer and supported my father and brother through prostate cancer. More recently, I was my mother’s primary caregiver as she moved through the final stages of dementia.

Each journey was different. But they all called on the same reserves: strength, patience, courage, and care.

That’s when the seed for Caregiver's Quest was planted during my second intense caregiving experience. I began to notice patterns, emotional echoes, and deep needs.

And I realized: while it doesn’t get easier, we do get better at facing hard things. I wanted to share what I’d learned. I wanted to offer the support I wish I had when I first became a caregiver. Caregiver's Quest is that offering.

Every caregiver is a quiet hero - walking a path of love, courage, and transformation.